Below is a list of the held items and consumables present in the game. Each character can have a maximum of 4 held items.
- Eyedrops: Cures blindness and paralysis.
- Painkillers: Cures headache and migraine. Inflicts medicated.
- Mtn Dew: Restores 15 skill. Inflicts caffeinated.
- Monster: Restores 20 skill. Inflicts caffeinated, frenzying, or berserk.
- Ale: Restores 15 health and 10 skill. Inflicts tipsy or (if consumed in rapid succession) drunk.
- Popsicle: Restores 20 health and 15 skill, and cures burned. Slight chance of inflicting frozen. "I'm as straight as that popsicle that I licked. Wait, what?"
- Hot Chocolate: Restores 25 health and 10 skill, and cures frozen. Slight chance of inflicting burned. "One, two, three, four, five...six marshmallows!"
- Tea: Restores 20 health and 30 skill, and cures headache, migraine, and poisoned.
- Chemical Toast: Increases utility and max skill points by 50. "A favourite of the grand Lizzy Tables!"
- Sweaty Nachos: Increases speed and defense by 40. "A favourite of the badass Thootshoes deAvocado!"
- Healing Potion: Restores 50 health.
- Skill Potion: Restores 25 skill.
- Fury Potion: Increases attack by 15. "Smells funny."
- Sturdy Potion: Increases defense by 15.
- Agility Potion: Increases speed by 15. "Somebody call Jack B. Nimble, 'cause we need to be quick!"
- Rainbow Potion: Increases all stats by 15. "Side effects include sudden attraction to the same gender. I mean, most of the characters in this game are already gay, so..."
- Gerbachanglio Brew: Unique drink that restores all the SP and HP of a party member, also boosting attack and defense by 15.
- Bright Potion: Cures blindness.
- Can be confused with Enlightening Potion due to similar colour.
- Noisy Potion: Cures muteness.
- Can be confused with Thawing Potion due to similar colour.
- Refreshing Potion: Cures poison.
- Soft Potion: Cures paralysis.
- Liquid Potion: Cures burned.
- Thawing Potion: Cures frozen.
- Can be confused with Noisy Potion due to similar colour.
- Spiteful Potion: Cures infatuation.
- Bandaging Potion: Cures bleeding.
- Can be confused with Ginger Potion due to similar colour.
- Mint Potion: Cures headache.
- Ginger Potion: Cures migraine.
- Can be confused with Bandaging Potion due to similar colour.
- Enlightening Potion: Cures haunted.
- Can be confused with Bright Potion due to similar colour.
- Elixir: Cures all negative status effects.
- Revive: Revives a defeated ally with half health.
- Max Revive: Revives a defeated ally with full health.
- Full Revive: Revives whole team with full health.
- Leftovers: Held item that restores 3% of max health per turn.
- Refreshing Chalice: Held item that restores 3% of max SP per turn.
- Magic Mirror: Teleports to last save point.
- Wings: Enables fast travel.
- Lucky Horseshoe: Increases critical strike chance.
- Mile Meter: Displays how many steps you have taken. Useful when in stealth mode.
- Bestiary: Keeps track of all the monsters you have encountered.
- Jungle Rose: Increases maximum health by 75.
- Obsidian Skull: Dark skull that reduces fire damage. Does not reduce the damage from burns, though. "Looks familiar somehow..."
- Hydro Skull: Wet skull that reduces earth damage. "How does this even work?"
- Surging Skull: Charged skull that reduces water damage. "I'm in charge, no antennas!"
- Terrestrial Skull: Grounded skull that reduces wind damage. "Just some dirt, really..."
- Fluffy Skull: Soft skull that reduces lightning damage. "It looks like if a teddy bear's head was ripped off."
- Luminous Skull: Bright, shining skull that reduces darkness damage. "It's too bright to even look at..."
- Crawling Skull: Infested skull that reduces fairy damage. "Gross, there are cockroaches in this thing..."
- Crystal Skull: Pure skull that reduces plant damage. "Aww, there's no pretty pictures."
- Fierce Skull: Flaming skull that reduces ice damage. "Anyone want to play a game of hot pota- I mean, hot skull?"
- Steel Skull: Durable skull that reduces psychic damage. "Not even the strongest of minds could penetrate this."
- Merciful Skull: Rejuvinating skull that reduces poison damage. Does not reduce the damage from poisoned, though. "I need healing!"
- Ancient Skull: Mighty skull that reduces dragon damage. "This thing is so old...it could break any minute..."
- Blazing Gauntlet: Fiery gauntlet that increases damage towards fire.
- Terrestrial Gauntlet: Earthy gauntlet that increases damage towards earth.
- Soaking Gauntlet: Aquatic gauntlet that increases damage towards water.
- Breezy Gauntlet: Windy gauntlet that increases damage towards wind.
- Staticked Gauntlet: Electric gauntlet that increases damage towards lightning.
- Cursed Gauntlet: Possessed gauntlet that increases damage towards darkness.
- Magical Gauntlet: Cheerful gauntlet that increases damage towards fairy.
- Tangled Gauntlet: Natural gauntlet that increases damage towards plant.
- Glacial Gauntlet: Frozen gauntlet that increases damage towards ice.
- Telepathic Gauntlet: Mystical gauntlet that increases damage towards psychic.
- Venomous Gauntlet: Toxic gauntlet that increases damage towards poison.
- Ancient Gauntlet: Mighty gauntlet that increases damage towards dragon. "MIIIIIIILDRED!"
All of these items are required to craft the Ankh Shield, a high-end defensive item.
- Eyeglasses: Grants immunity to Blindness.
- Megaphone: Grants immunity to Muteness.
- Adhesive Bandage: Grants immunity to Bleeding.
- Bezoar: Grants immunity to Poisoned.
- World Map: Grants immunity to Confused.
- Anti-Shock Sweater: Grants immunity to Paralysis.
- Thick Scarf: Grants immunity to Frozen.
- Cobalt Shield: Grants immunity to Flinched.